i think i may have given up on life.
there was a time in the dim and distant past when i had dreams , biggish dreams and plans and things i wanted to do. i was going to write something wonderful and have it published. i was going to blog all the time and spread the word of pants.
the only thing i spread now is my ever widening bum on a corner of the sofa.
it's drepressing when you have depression isn't it.
when going out to the local corner shop to top up the meter becomes a battle of wills, between the need for light and the need to stay where you know is safe.
so right now while people are suggesting places where i should be going and enjoying myself, you know the well meaning " oh you should go out for a meal,"
god no i don't want strangers watching me eat.
or the even better, " why don't we go shopping to one of the biggest shopping centers in creation and you can help me choose a dress "
firstly sounds expensive secondly sounds crowded thirdly i know i will probably not sleep for the two nights before hand worrying as it is some where new.
i am begining to wonder if i am slightly agrophobic.
but in the mean time there is candy crush and games of that nature. so i sit and crush candy sometimes very unsuccessfully but it helps block out the real world for a while. it means i dont have to listen to endless talking about things i have no interest in. its a great way to put off well anything really.
so if you ask me what i do at the moment my answer will be
yes sir i crush candy
