i am not a domestic goddess . i have never been a domestic goddess . if i ever turn out to be a domestic goddess please fell free to shoot me . my house resembles a cross between a spiders web and a bad day in beruit but i do know where everything is honest . well my thinking is if i can't find it i obviously don't need it do i .
so tonight i had a sudden little burst of something not sure what mind you but for this blog we can call it inspiration. i remembered that i had instant whip of the chocolate variety lurking in the back of one of my cupboards in the kitchen . with new found enthusiasm i skipped ( well walked at a steady pace ) to said cupboard and brought forth said whip.
now instant whip is pretty idiot proof when you make it add milk, stir, bung in fridge , clock watch , tap fingers impatiently and after a reasonable amount of time you have whip. well you would have thought so wouldn't you? but no.
here is the story of what will now be known as whip gate .
firstly no clean mixing jugs they were both in the washing up , the glass one and the plastic one that makes wierd cracking noises when you pour hot water into it. so i used my brain and got a pint glass. brilliant i could still do this i thought. i haphazardly sloshed sort of the right amount of milk , should have been half a pint looked more like a pint by the end but well that was ok i could work with that. then i ripped off the top of the packet and plopped the powder into said milk. it didnt dissolve . it sat on the top of the milk like a defiant budda daring me to mix it in without a lump in sight.
heavy sigh i noticed that the whisk was in the same washing up with the jugs . i used a spoon , a big spoon and i mixed. infact i mixed till my wrist hurt . it was still lumpy. looking at it i reasoned that the lumps weren't that big and put it in the fridge. so i wait for a few minutes , get impatient and then go to investigate. so how do you know that it's set ? well you wobble the glass don't you ? well i thought you did . the top was set . awsome i thought grabbed a spoon and took and spoonful.
oh god . oh god no . i was eating fermented powder and no milk at all . it was like eating sawdust . i can only imagine the face i pulled you can only imagine the words i muttered under my breath. i stuck the spoon in further . bloody liquid . right more stirring . so i stirred and i stirred . then i remember i have a plug in whisk thing i have never used on top of a cupboard where the spiders are . do i get it or do i continue stirring? continue stirring are you mad ? no sod that i got the whisk down , put it together and plugged it in . maybe i should have reset it so it wasn't on warp speed before turning it on. my once cream jumper is now chocolate and cream but it worked . the whip has been returned to the fridge now properly whipped to within an inch of it's life and my sanity.
i really hope i fancy it once it's set .
