it's been a few months since i did one of these puppies called a blog. well things change lives move on , people fall apart and then find other people ect ect ect . well i cleaned house , i started being vaguely domestic. You can see more floor space now than you could before . Thing is is this a good thing or not ? Does this mean that i am loosing my edge as some people have suggested though not exactly as bluntly as i have just said it , but it has been hinted at thats for sure. Maybe it's the misery loves company thing i really couldnt tell you without being brutal . Think i may let tact take over and sit on my pointy fence for this one. I have found that a little opinion is a dangerous thing sometimes so i tend to keep mine to myself and let them bubble in a big mental caldron.
talking of mental not that anyone was mind you but i thought i would bring it up. i have the feeling that this is about to become a random rollercoaster of shit . Anyway back to mental . I hear it's mental health month and that got me thinking about shit/stuff for the more polite out there that read this. The main debate raging in my head was the pills vs feelings debate . It's an interesting one for me . Right now i have been two weeks anti D's free and im still wondering if that was a good idea or not. My mind is running in circles right now. All this things that my lovely little white to be taken daily tablets have been squashing are coming to he fore front of my head once more. My sleeping pattern is well interesting . I sleep but not well i have nightmares i wake wondering where the hell i am and not remembering what i have dreamt. But at least now i can actually put something down on a blog that doesn't sound like today i did this then i did that isnt life wonderful ( yawn yawn ) . I mainly stoppe d them because although i could function i couldn't feel , i couldnt write i wasn't inspired my imagination had left me. Infact i hadnt done anything creative for months and that i hated . i hate not having an imagination i hate not feeling inspired it's as if a part of me goes missing when that happens. It's like loosing a limb or the part of your mind that keeps everything interesting . Dare i say it it's like being normal and i fucking hate it . so i stopped taking the pills . two weeks on first blog is happening and i havent killed anyone so far. bit of a result really because i have a terrible temper when things dont happen the way i think they should do. So the pills vs the madness personally i have chosen the madness because its what i know . Have i given up ? no i am embracing who i am the unedited version nothing squashed with white fluffiness, no walking in soup for these pants . maybe i will be able to get some writing done well thats the plan anyhow if i ever get off twitter long enough to do anythat is.
until next time the pants have left the building
