Identity.

If i died tomorrow who would remember me ?

How would i be remembered?

What have i achieved ?

Who am i ?

Have i actually done anything or have the last nearly 40 years been just a mass of wasted opportunities and bad choices ?

If i lost everything tomorrow what would i actually loose ?

These questions maybe horribly morbid but for some time now they have haunted me.I'm no longer sure what my life is, what i am supposed to do , what i'm here for. I'm drifting deeper into a hole. Sometimes i see myself and think i don't know you. This isn't me. I'm not who i was. I had plans. I had things to say, now i'm not so sure.

Anyone reading this will most probably tell me to get a grip. After all i have my kids, I'm in a relationship. I should be happy, content, but something is missing. In having these things i have lost a sense of myself..

Before i drown in my own self wallowing, I have a question.

HOW MANY OTHER PEOPLE OUT THERE FEEL THIS WAY??

Yes there are those lucky ones out there that are happy and content with themselves and their lies. They have everything they want right now.They can sit and look about them and say " Yes i have everything i want and life is good."

What about the rest ? What about the people who catch a glance of themselves in a mirror and just for that split second wonder if that is it. The people who look at what they have and wonder " is this it?"
"Is this what my life is like ?"
"Is this what i chose?"
"Is this who i chose to be ?"
The people out there who don't know who they are inside.

Or is it just me ??