It's the most wonderful time of the year or so we are lead to believe if we listen to the song that has been stuck in my head since mid november.
The grim truth is i hate it and everything it stands for. The gluttony , the greed , the sprouts, crap so called christmas films that should fill you with a sense of zombie like happiness. They don't they are just bad films that are thrown at us at the same time every year and labeled christmas classics.
Then there is family. Those wonderful folks that you spend the vast proportion of the year avoiding like the absolute plague and here they are all flatulent from sprouts wearing the stupidest paper hats and in your LIVING ROOM and your expected to play board games with them.
There was a christmas not so long ago when for a split second while cutting carrots, i did toy with the idea of cutting off a finger and spending christmas day at the hospital. For those few magical moments i was happy in my day dream.
Sadly this time of year is fast approaching with all the enthusiasm of a chocolate smeared toddler who has just filled his nappy. How do i know this you may wonder.
Well it's the little things that give it away.
Firstly it's getting cold there is talk of snow.
Secondly the adverts have taken on their own air of desperation and forced happiness. So now they are even more awful than usual.
Thirdly some social net working sights seem to be filled with people putting up pictures of the christmas tree the symbol of the first of many arguments in the household over this period. I don't want to see them . I have zero interest in the fact that all your lights are working and you have morphed your frontroom into another santa's grotto.
So this year as with every other year i can think of i will refuse to send out the cards , i will grudgingly buy the minimum amount of gifts. If i get pressured into it i may grumpily throw a tree somewhere ( i got one already decorated ) and i will spend the rest of this time reminding people who really should know better to not bother me with anything even vaguely seasonal. I don't want cards i will send back gifts i would like to be left alone on my own so i can have the perfect non christmas for me.
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