seeing as the last time I blogged I produced a poem about a poo, I thought that this time I would be maybe slightly more sensible.
The last few months at Pant's Palace have seen a good few changes. Instead of just a fluffy one and me we now have the resident tea bitch and a septic cat called fleabe ( well that's what i call her ).So with that in mind here's my skeptical account of relationships .
Here's how it starts. You have the first contact mine was on another website. An old flame messaged me complete bolt out of the blue. We messaged on and off for a while and then exchanged numbers. This is the slippery slope. You know that when you have numbers the inevitable texting happens and it did. Then the inevitable phone call that lasted a whole eight hours. Pretty much a nights sleep was lost catching up. Small wonder the phone didn't melt. I think it's a bit different when you have known each other in the past, you have the memories of those distant times. The old school days and a vague memory of how they looked back then. Then there is the first meeting . Have they changed beyond all recognition ? Have you changed ? maybe one of you has grown two heads ? Lost a limb? put on a pound or six million perhaps ? Is this actually a good idea after all ? Turns out it was like stepping back in time . Like looking at the face you remembered just with a few added wrinkles and grey bits ( his not mine ). After that night he never really left. Well just briefly to get clothes, his cat and his computer.
So here comes the skeptical part.
First few weeks they are on their best kind of behavior. You get used to the routine of them getting up before you, making you tea in bed, spoiling you watching you as if you were the most remarkable human being that ever landed. It never lasts though.
They say familiarity breeds contempt well in this house it breeds flatulence and means that you end up having to make your own tea again. They stop apologizing for cracking their knuckles. In fact if I wasn't mistaken I would think he was a transformer sometimes. Little things that don't belong to you start to arrive. So far we have my own personal favorites the box of wire and now the empty bottle collection. The food bill has gone up even though annoyingly he has lost weight and i have gained it in epic proportions. Then there is the washing pile. We wont even go there.
You have to get used to not just thinking about yourself and as i am a selfish horror that hasn't been easy to do. I like my space, my own thinking time. I'm still getting used to juggling that and everything else.
Saying all of that it has it's upside. You know the tea bitch is a keeper when you do an epic fart and he laughs without going green and falling over. He still thinks that me poking him playfully in the ribs when he least expects it is cute and he laughs at my insults.
i may have lost a bit of my ranting edge in the virtual world but in the real world i'm on fire and i don't care any more what people think of me. I can be annoying, sweary, demanding, bad tempered and i am all of those things in spades and to the tea bitch it's water off a ducks back.
so things at Pant's Palace may have changed and i know that i have but so far the change is a good one.
so my final thought on this .
It's not all about the hearts and flowers crap. It's about laughing at the stupid stuff. Giggling at farts , arguing about whose turn it is to make the tea ( his usually ) and generally taking the almighty piss out of each other. You get that right your onto a winner.
And so the Pants have spoken.
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